Role Models

Role model is yet another of the psychobabble terms that I generally abhor. However, the concept underlying the term is one with which I would agree, namely that humans are great copiers. The question, however, is who we decide to copy and when and what behaviors. I spoke today with a Frenchman who was telling me that he is writing a book about and in honor of his father who had been a famous surgeon in France. He said that when his father died, over 2000 people attended his funeral, the vast majority of those people he -- the Frenchman with whom I was talking -- had never met or heard his father mention. The people were there because his father never turned a patient away, even when that patient had no funds to pay. His generosity had touched many hearts. Despite his father's fame, his father's head was never turned and he remained a humble and patient man throughout his life. The Frenchman told me, and I listened carefully, that when he is confronted by situations that once would have upset him, he asks himself how his father would have responded. He then is able to respond as his father would have done.

How lucky he was to have such a role model. Many people do not. My guess, however, is that when they do, they want to honor that person. I felt much the same about my father and when he died I spent several years going in and out of the Amazon rainforest, as he had loved the rainforests in South America, and making a collection that I donated to a local museum in his name. So, I am not just interested in this copying behavior, but in our response to the death of one of our role models and our desire to pay homage to their lives. Could this be the origin of death rituals and monuments? I would think that the best homage is one made freely, but it seems clear that many mortuary monuments were built based on the use of force. Is this like trying to buy respect that one has not earned?